February 13, 2008...3:20 am

I’ll trade you Park Place for all 4 Railroads

Jump to Comments

“I sold the memoirs of my sex life to a publisher – they are going to make a board game out of it.” –Woody Allen

To anyone who thinks they are in like, in love, or in a relationship they think can go the distance, I challenge you to live for any prolonged period of time in a 9 x 19 ft Manhattan studio (somewhere someone living in a spacious farmhouse or sprawling ranch is reading this while their brain implodes trying to imagine such nonsense).

Technically I don’t live here at all. I have my own place several subway stops away, write my own rent checks and own my own furniture. But I don’t live there. I choose to live at The Boyfriend’s miniscule studio, you know, to test the limits of human interaction in an apartment (I use the term loosely) that equates its two residents to a tall person’s two legs in an economy airline seat during the 6-hour flight from New York to LA. It’s hard to understand exactly how the pair can cram into that tiny space, but by some feat of science, it somehow just works.

Yet I’ve become oddly accustomed to living in such a tight space; it’s like camping, or living in a dorm room with really nice stuff and a big screen TV. And with only a few weeks left before The Boyfriend moves out, I’m almost sad to see this little sardine can go.

Over the past few weeks we’ve been indulging in board games. We set up a table in the “living room” side of the studio, listen to music, drink and indulge in healthy competition. I like to think my trash talking is superior, but I think he might disagree. Of course, he likes to tell people my name is “Lady of Back-scratching and Beer-fetching” while I might tend to think otherwise. So as you can see our relationship involves healthy debate.

And I’d like to get into more detail, but I have to go strategize as to how to manipulate him into selling me Baltic Avenue. 

Leave a Reply