“The trouble with unemployment is that the minute you wake up in the morning you’re on the job.” -Slappy White
Entries Tagged as ‘Every Day’
April 18, 2008
Unemployment: Week 1!
HELLO BLOG!
Today I return to you, unemployed, drunk and over-caffeinated like an alcoholic wife beater.
Why have I stayed away so long? Now if I told you, I wouldn’t be mysterious, now would I?
Suffice to say, I AM BACK. And all of my three readers are rejoicing (Hello, three readers)!
So far, unemployment is fabulous. [...]
February 22, 2008
Voila
“You can’t teach people to be lazy—either they have it, or they don’t.” –Dagwood Bumstead of Blondie
Ok, reader(s?). By now I think we’ve discovered together (me through writing, you through reading, in the loosest sense of the word) that my every day laziness absolutely transfers to my blogging style. I haven’t posted in…well, quite a [...]
February 22, 2008
It’s your daughter
A phone call to my Dad’s house:
My grandmother: Hello?
Me: Hi Nonny! Whatcha doing?
My grandmother: I’m about to go cook steak on the George Forman Grill.
Me: Are you allowed to do that? Where’s Dad?
My grandmother: Asleep. I’ll go get him.
(goes and gets him)
Dad: Hello?
Me: Yo, you realize she’s about to use the grill?
Dad: No, I didn’t. [...]
February 13, 2008
I’ll trade you Park Place for all 4 Railroads
“I sold the memoirs of my sex life to a publisher – they are going to make a board game out of it.” –Woody Allen
To anyone who thinks they are in like, in love, or in a relationship they think can go the distance, I challenge you to live for any prolonged period of time [...]