Entries Tagged as ‘Work’

February 6, 2009

Begging To Occupy the Coveted Spot at the Bottom of the Totem Pole

The interviews continue, two more to be exact, both of which are at establishments that currently are in a hiring freeze. So basically I’m ironing my shirt and skirt, putting makeup on and wiggling into nylons which I then triple check for runs for no reason. That’s a lot of foreplay with little chance of [...]

January 14, 2009

How To Show Up Late and Panting Like A Lunatic To Your First Interview

When everyone bitches and moans about the LA “motherfucking  smog infested bumper-to-bumper makes-you-want-to-slam-your-head-on-the-steering-wheel” traffic, they’re not kidding. 
I had an interview today at 11am about 29 minutes away from The Boyfriend’s apartment and planned to leave at 10am to allow plenty of time to get there. My morning went as follows:
9am: Take a shower using extra [...]

October 13, 2008

A few months’ notice

I’m no good at being a waitress. There, I admitted it. I don’t care if your food gets to you on time, I don’t care if you like your meal, and I don’t want to chit chat about what my favorite dish is, or gush about my recent celebrity sightings. I do try, but because [...]

October 2, 2008

Moron on the rocks

I was idling by the entrance of the Pit of Despair awaiting my next table and absentmindedly cracking my neck when a redneck accompanied by a gaggle of his sisters/girlfriends leaned towards me and said, “Be careful not to hurt yourself!” He then chuckled in appreciation of his own joke. I faked a probably not [...]

June 27, 2008

Just like a free show

“One advantage of talking to yourself is that you know at least somebody’s listening.” -Franklin P. Jones
I sit in front of a very sweet, very caring very elderly secretary at my office. And everyday I consider sending her flowers, candy or a card as a thank you for the entertainment she provides me with throughout [...]

June 10, 2008

But how come?

Life has presented me with many an enigma that I just let slide… I file it under “I’m never gonna figure this out” and move on. I feel it’s time to address at least one of these mysteries because it’s been taken to a new level.
Why, oh why, oh why do they build bathroom stalls [...]

February 7, 2008

It Doubles as a Rice Krispie Treat Holder

Today New York City forcibly beat the shit out of me with its cold, hard fists. Any New Yorker can tell you that once in a while, well, the city just does that. Just when you finally get a day off, your ambition takes over and you think, “Today is errand day! I’m going to [...]

January 31, 2008

“The Fat Lady’s Singin’”

“If at first you don’t succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.” –W. C. Fields
I shall hereby refer to today as Quitting Day.
The reasons for this are threefold. I should have known today was quitting day when one of my worst recurring nightmares (of which there are many) almost [...]